I’m literally my own best friend like I have inside jokes with myself and sometimes I’ll think something funny and start laughing out loud at how funny I am

(Source: dallasharry, via hot-diggety-dog)


i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”

(via kaijuhoe)


i followed my heart and it led me into the fridge

(via the-apple-pie-was-worth-it)

  • citizen: it's a bird!
  • citizen: it's a plane!
  • *superman flies down with kryptonite between his teeth*
  • superman: it's a metaphor


lifes too short to pretend to hate pop music

(via theonceandfutureprophet)


dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss

(via okcoolbeans)



steve and bucky being in a meeting with all the avengers at the stark tower and steve is getting progressively more pissed off with them and their shenanigans while bucky just sits at the bar ignoring everything

"bucky come on, help me!"

"no way, don’t drag me into this"

"just give me a hand!"


(via theonceandfutureprophet)